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March 2012  

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01:10am 23/06/2011
I feel like I'm disappointing a lot of people right now. I keep making wrong choices, or things I set out to do don't live up to their expectations, or I just don't hit the mark as well as I should. I feel like the last month or so has been one big lesson on failure. I need to somehow dig myself out of this hole. Maybe I just need someone to hand me a shovel. I don't know. And really, I think it's just that I'm stretching myself too thin. I'm only one person that's trying to be in five places at once and it's just not working. I don't know where I"m going with this. I'm tired, really tired. I've been getting headaches and this last week I've randomly gotten dizzy while just sitting at my desk or doing work That's never happened before. I'm over-exerting myself and I can't stop, not yet, anyways. People are counting on me. Maybe that's why I'm disappointing. That thought disappoints me. That I can't be counted on. I always thought of myself as the kind of person who would be there and who could do anything, but I was wrong. I'm not capable of doing everything at once. I guess I"m also unable to live up to my own expectations of myself. Which isn't horrible, since it means I'm always striving for something better. I don't know where I'm going with this. Good night, and I good you bid evening.
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